So at around the beginning of a new day, I was bored, hyped on caffeine, and hungry. I saw a colon cleansing pill infomercial on TV (basically cat litter in a pill form) and wanted to make an infomercial of my own. I closed my eyes, pointed to my desk and said I'm going to make an ad to try to sell the thing I'm pointing to. I pointed to a bottle of 3/4 used 91% isopropyl alcohol I bought from Wal-mart literally ages ago. It 'expired' in 05/2007. So it breaks down into it's chemical components eventually; if organic chemistry is your forté, then feel free to slam in the comments.
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Ever have those times when water just isn't up to the cleaning task? Like when you're trying to get fingerprints off of your glasses, that nasty grease from working on toys, or the dirt that sticks behind arrow points that missed their target and hit the dirt? Sure you can use water to clean things, it does it's job fairly well... except when you're trying to clean. Enter 91% isopropyl alcohol! This new product uses clinically proven clean evaporating technology that virtually disappears taking scroungy old dust, grease, and skin oil with it!
Previously, this man used ordinary well water to clean his lenses, see all those streaks left behind? Watch as this medical doctor takes those streaks off in less than 5 seconds with the groundbreaking technology that's put into 91% isopropyl alcohol! WOW! You would swear he's using the most popular window cleaner that costs five times as much!
And this man, who tries to clean his desk with plain water, see how it just spreads the grease around? Water is no match for 91% isopropyl alcohol! Watch as this maid cleans up his mess with it. Instantly all that grease is gone.
Now for that nasty job of maintaining toys. Just look at all that dirt and mud that stuck to that arrow. Water just leaves microscopic specks of dirt left, but to users of 91% isopropyl alcohol, that is still dirty as a landfill on free dump day. Now lets use 91% isopropyl alcohol's revolutionary dirt cleaning power that was discovered by a mom to clean it. Simply put a swab into the solution and wipe the dirty area. --- No more dirt! AMAZING!
Normally 1 bottle would cost you $5 at the local department store. But you won't pay $5, not even $3, but only 1 payment of $2! You will never see this deal anywhere but on this special TV ad. But wait! There's more! Call right now and we will give you one more bottle absolutely free! That's right, free! Just pay shipping and handling.
Still not enough? Call within the next 5 minutes and we will give you 1 more bottle for $1! Now that's a deal! $3 bottles for only $3. All 3 bottles normally retail for $6, but you can have one bottle, get one bonus bottle and get one half off for a total of $3! Simply amazing, call now!
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I created this sales ad for ordinary alcohol because it uses all the jargon that marketing promoters use to sell their clients' products. Jargon being those selling words that trick the viewer into buying the product, otherwise it wouldn't sell. Some of the selling words I use are: clinically proven, free, simply, special, revolutionary, discovered by a mom (or anything involving moms or teachers), virtually, and medical doctor. These words have a profound effect on television viewers; it impacts them personally. This, I guess is the whole point of an ad, but it's all cliché. It's so easy to make an ad these days, but it's hard to make a good one.
